Things you can only say on Christmas

1. I prefer breasts to legs.
2. If I don’t undo my trousers, I’ll burst.
3. Spread the butter all over the breasts.
4. I’ve never seen a more inviting spread.
5. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.
6. Are you ready for seconds yet?
7. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
8. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some.
9. It’s a little dry, but still edible.
10. Don’t play with your meat.
11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
12. Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people?
13. You still have a little bit on your chin.
14. I didn’t expect everyone to come at the same time.
15. How long will it take after you put it in?
16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.
17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang.
18. That’s the biggest bird I’ve ever had.
19. I’m full already. I’ve been gobbling nuts all morning.
20. Wow! I didn’t think I could handle all that and still want more.